cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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