Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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