Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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