i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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