we made out on top of his cat.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
