it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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