I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
