I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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