New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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