this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
