Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
