Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
