Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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