no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Alive.
So much puke
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
