So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
