I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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