i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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