nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Someone shit on the floor
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
