I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
