I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my vag is so smooth its legendary
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize