she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
