My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
