Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
