I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
