My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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