u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize