Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
