Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
