Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
