he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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