Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
do herpes really smell.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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