I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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