We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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