her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
