Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
