Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
