so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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