Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
