no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
