Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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