I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize