I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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