I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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