RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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