it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
