Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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