Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
