yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Life is so much better after having sex.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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