Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
