No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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