we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
