i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
