Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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