I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
