don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
