she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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