he shaved USA in his pubs
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
