What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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