Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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