I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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