You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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