drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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