Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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